REVIEW: Mars Volta "Frances the Mute"

Rating: 1

This just goes to show how naive I really am because I thought this kind of epic high-wire guitar masturbation had its last lethal overdose a long time ago.  Yet here it is at a Borders listening station near you, castrated sing/screaming and all.  And right next to Modest Mouse too.

No matter which super-indie you sit it next to or what kind of haircut you give it this is still not cool.  Maybe, maybe if you're a closet subscriber to Guitar magazine or a recovering Iron Maiden fan or just really fucking stoned, maybe then I can recommend you update your stacks to include this twenty-first century take on prog-metal with its operatic track structures and endless roller coaster guitar weenying, but frankly I'd only be enabling your regressive behavior.  No, what you need is a gentle Queens of the Stone Age let down followed by some serious Built To Spill therapy.  It's gonna be okay man, just put down the album and walk away.  Walk.  Away.